Mariners promo offers “free runs” to first 26 Red Sox players, Mariners lose 12-6

During the first five innings I worked on a nice summary theme. But I have to pocket it for another time because this game doesn’t deserve it. This game hardly deserves a summary. It was the worst of all worlds: it wasn’t bad enough, and the Mariners haven’t been out of it long enough for this game to be funny rather than a colossal bummer.

At least it was fun in the beginning. The Mariners sent nine men to the plate in the second inning. Suárez kicked off with a double off the Basil Monster that Verdugo probably should have caught, but instead crashed off the wall.

#recognizable

Abraham Toro, Our Beloved took him to third by splitting Devers and Bogaerts, which feels much more wonderful than it is after watching Chapman and Bichette for three games. This brought up Dylan Moore, who made a short stop while JP had the evening off, and all DMo did with the opportunity was to detonate a three-run bomb over the malachite monster.

Fredo Corleone’s Steven Souza’s inevitable pop-up to second baseman later, Frazier walked for ten pitches and Ty France knocked him in with a double. Once the inning was over, Boston starter Rich Hill did not return. At first I thought this would be a good thing, as Rich Hill took a thousand years between pitches, perhaps trying to make his 88mph heat seem faster in comparison.

Unfortunately, while Rich Hill needed 56 pitches to score six outs, his replacement, Tanner Houck, only needed 58 pitches to get the next 12, which wasn’t quite what I had in mind when I was hoping it would end the game. accelerate . All the Mariners could muster against Houck in four innings was a Winker-single and a walk from Moore. Houck entered the game with a 23:12 K:BB ratio and left with a 29:13 ratio. You’re welcome, Tanner. Please celebrate by shaving your facial hair.

The story of the game for Boston was indeed a story. (I’m sorry, I’m sorry – we’re all contractually obligated to spell his name.) When the game started, Story’s wOBA was 0.279. Now it’s .324. His three (3) home runs serve as a painful metaphor for the Mariners’ season thus far. His first, which went out to what Fenway’s architects call generous centerfield, would have been just a home run in six of the 30 MLB parks† This is what we call making excuses. It’s kind of like how many of us have focused on the brute force of the Mariners’ schedule, the horrendous cluster luck, and the myriad ill-timed injuries. His second, catapulted over the Juniper Monster an inning later, was much more legit, and would have gone out anywhere in MLB?† This is a wake-up call, like the Phillies series, where Seattle, even against a mediocre opponent, just couldn’t get anything going. Finally, his third, also over the Pine Monster, went out in the eighth, leaving the Sox at 12-5 and the game almost officially out of reach. That’s kind of like where the Mariners are now, at 17-22 and eight games back. It’s not impossible, but it’s a huge hole to dig. Seconds after Story’s third dong, my Roku came in to ask me if I was still watching and started a 30-second countdown to automatically turn off my TV. I’ve considered it.

The epilogue of The Story is that he also had an RBI single, a fourth run scored, a walk and a stolen base, all of which came during the two innings when things went silent. George Kirby had no big night, but for his third outing it hadn’t been a disaster. He struckout three to only one walk, and while his secondary throws combined to form just a single sniff, his fastball looked good, causing Christian Vázquez and Rafael Devers to drive warmers out of the zone for strikeouts. But then Scott Servais did something strange.

Even though Kirby’s night was over, Servais sent him back to the mound to throw some warm-up throws before calling for Romo. But the umpires are very much in favor of rules that don’t cover the strike zone or that the laces of a glove count towards a tag. And apparently Rule 5.10 says that if the starting pitcher crosses the foul line, it means he must pitch one more batter before he can be replaced. So Kirby threw exactly one pitch, which sent Alex Verdugo to the wall for a double. Scott was then allowed to bring in Romo. I understand (although I wasn’t previously aware of) the rule, but it remains a mystery why Kirby was sent to the mound in the first place.

according to DivishServais tried to gain more time for Romo, which is strange since it was the start of an inning and Romo had already got up in the bottom of the fifth and also had the entire top of the sixth to break free. Good for Servais for falling on his sword, but it’s one of the most inexplicable casual mistakes this year. Verdugo was going to score.

Speaking of unforced errors, let’s move on to the next inning, when Tony Sandwiches retired the side but put runners on first and third base. With Boston’s best lefty bats done, Servais went to Wyatt Mills, who then threw four straights to Trevor Story to load the bases. Then he threw four straight balls to Bobby Dalbec to walk in for a run. He then hit the elbow pad of Christain Vázquez, giving him another walk. It was a strike action so aggressive that Andrew Carnegie would blush. Not to be left behind, Danny Young also came in to run.

So to sum up this recap, this game gave us (1) a dominant performance from one of the selective free agents Seattle failed to bring in this off-season; (2) a management decision as confusing and thoughtless as John Travolta’s introduction of Adele Dazeem; (3) three runs allowed on free bases; and (4) a Steven Souza 0-4. RIP the discourse.

But despite everything, this match had Julio Rodríguez.

I feel like I’m already used to Julio playing the role of lone bright spot, as seen above, sending a ninth-inning ball over the Seafoam Monster, adding his two other hits (including his eighth infield hit ) and wins his first Sun Hat Award for outstanding individual contribution. Thanks, Julio, for giving us something nice to close the game with. One of these days, Julio is going to hit a homer at the T, and I can’t wait for the place to go crazy.

While I was working on that nice summary, I promised Connor that I would use this photo. And while it fits the fun theme better, I’m a man of my word, so please enjoy the return of Dylan Moore’s tongue. Even if JP is back tomorrow I hope to see DMo in right field.

David Butler II-US TODAY Sports

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